sic transit gloria.

"is that Latin?"

Thursday, April 21, 2005

what if cameras followed you around


and documented your life and its mundane routines, simple joys, disappointments, awkward and tender moments? i recently picked up the complete office (series 1 & 2 + special + all the other extras geeks love) and cannot stop watching. i don't know what it is exactly about the office that makes it what it is; its simplicity? how it's shot documentary style so all the characters seem that much more authentic? ricky gervais being a fucking genius? i have no idea, but this show is perhaps the most moving, refreshing, and absolutely hysterical i have ever seen. that's not saying much because i don't really watch television. regardless, if you haven't already you must get on the free-love freeway and watch this show. forget the 2nd-rate american version. i loves me some bbc.

for a moment i forgot where i was going with that but now i remember. last weekend my coworkers and i went on a staff retreat to lovely lancaster, california. i don't recall ever actually visiting lancaster prior to this, yet i must say that i was surprised how pretty it was up there. yeah, lancaster has 6 walmarts, 2 of which are 24 hours, and walmart is frightening in itself. anyhow i've been watching the office so much that i couldn't help thinking how it would be to have cameras following us around; granted, it wasn't a work day, and we don't work in an office. but still, how crazy would it be if cameras watched us

hike through the vasquez rocks


eat dinner


play games


tie a few down


and go to 7-11.


we stayed at jennifer's parents' hotel, the essex house. the place was quite nice, it had this victorian-charm about it, which now that i think about is appropriate given that it's called the essex house. i'm used to budget lodging, days inn and cecil hotel style.



there was a wedding going on that afternoon, and the bridesmaids happened to be staying in the room next to me and brian's. we wanted to check out the reception, but never got to it. wedding parties are fun. especially ones with open bars.



at the end of the office tim mentions that the only thing you really share in common with your workmates is that you walk around the same bit of carpet for several hours of the day. on that note i think it's interesting how a change of scene can allow you to have fun with a group of people with whom you don't normally hang out.



so what becomes of you, my love,
when they have finally stripped you of
the handbags and the gladrags that your grandad had to sweat so you could buy?


Monday, April 11, 2005

part 2 of 2: halfway into the US past 3 state borders


is a delightful southwestern town where the beer is served cheap and cold and the music played loud and fast. where the frat-boys and hipsters and the clubbers and bipsters roam the streets in harmony and mutual recognition, if not respect.

where people come from toronto to market their cola-liqueur drinks,


and a six foot seven jew (as seen on ricki lake) will freestyle rap for you.


a city definitely not as plastic-surgeried and s.u.v.-ed and reality-television'd as home, one seeming to the lack any of the pretense and glitzy bullshit that comes with living in los angeles. a wonderfully charming city.



we had only one evening, yet how i long to cruise down 6th


and galivant in so-co.


austin, i miss you.


the day after i got back i ran into kristen (an once austinite turned angelino) who asked me half-jokingly if i was going to pack up and move there. i would be lying if i said the thought didn't cross my mind. perhaps the notion i've entertained for so long of settling down and living the sunny california life might not actually come true. having your foundations shattered and living betwixt and between (thank you, linda van leuven) is both scary and exciting.



now i'm home and am experiencing what brooke accurately refers to as the withdrawal stage.


driving halfway across the country stuffed like sardines into a van that sings when the sliding door closes with the best fucking crew in the world.



life doesn't get to be much sweeter.

Monday, April 04, 2005

part I of 2: 1400 miles and a few time zones away


i left my heart in a little town in the middle of texas. as much as i love los angeles, i cannot get austin out of my head. while the way to vancouver was one of ocean, sun, and stolen passports, the road to austin was one of biting winds, cacti, tumbleweed, and being pulled over twice by the texas highway patrol. the non-stop (save for eats and gas) one-way 24 hour drive in the van kicked our asses, yet said ass-kicking was a small price to pay for the sweet taste of the southwest's bourgeoning hipster mecca, austin, texas.


it was late wednesday night when we broke out of this urban-outfittered 14-year-old-skankified westwood town. the day was spent picking up the van from placentia (which looks and sounds freakishly like placenta), running last minute errands and packing. see above for the promised flickr-inspired "what's in your bag?" photo.

driving for hours and hours on end gives you time to think. a whole fucking lot of time. looking at these long drives i think about all the little tricks and mechanisms used by road trippers to make it and maintain their sanity. i think it's interesting that these little things aren't explicitly planned or thought about much and yet they can be so intricate and crucial to the experience. for instance, the driver is never left alone, and by alone i mean awake while everybody else snoozes. staying up with the driver is key, even if riveting conversation is absent. while driving, just knowing that the person in shotgun is awake keeps you going. for us the shotgun rider is important in that s/he would refill the driver's mug with pop (so shoot me, i just got back from texas), navigate, man the camcorder in case something exciting would happen and would protect the driver from deadly wasps.

the trip would not be complete without loves



and stops at creepy gas stations.

on the first leg of the trip (los angeles to arizona) those of us who were awake got to see the sunrise through bug-splattered glass. i happened to be riding shotgun so i had a nice view.









matt and i were still awake while mike and brian were sleeping. i was up so we stopped somewhere in arizona to grab coffee before we switched. at this point we had been on the road for a little more than 7 hours.



after some scenic boulders,


and more stops,


we finally made it to new mexico.


at around 1:30 in the afternoon we arrived in texas. we had lunch in el paso.





as we are so accustomed to doing on road trips, we invented a few more games that have a good chance of ending up in the boxset, to be on sale sometime in the future. still untitled, my favorite one involves someone singing a song and everybody guessing what it is--the catch is that the person doesn't sing the actual words of the song, but in place of them uses the names of other people of the car. for example, i would go
"MICHAEL!! mike mike mike mike matt briiiaaan...TOOONY! TOOONY TONNNY MAAAATTT!!" and you would be all, " 'LADY' BY STYX" and i would be like "DAMN RIGHT" then the next person would go "TONY TONY TONY!! MICHAEL MICHAEL MATT!! MATT MATT BRIAN MIKE!! TONY MATT MICHAEL BRIAN BRIAN MICHAAEEEEL!!" then someone would be all "I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU!" but then he'd be like 'WRONG, bitch!' then the person guessing would be all 'DON'T FUCK WITH ME, THAT'S I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU BY BOYZ 2 MEN AND I KNOW IT' then the singer would be like "YEAH, BUT IT'S THE SPANISH VERSION OF 'I'LL MAKE LOVE TO YOU!!' " so we played that for a bit.

speaking of spanish, on the radio somewhere in new mexico was the spanish version of "total eclipse of the heart." it provided us with energy at a key point when morale was low, which was when we realized that we had been driving for 12 hours and were barely half way to austin.






another thing that keeps drivers going is music. i had brought my ipod and car-charger yet the soundtrack to this drive was comprised mostly of country. it seems that texans fucking love their country music; there was a significant stretch of highway between el paso and austin on which we could only pick up country stations. i swear there were at least 6 country stations. and maybe two christian talk shows, all of which were somewhat amusing. at one point i was driving and a white pick up truck with flashing sirens was driving behind us. fuck. i turned down the obnoxious country music, woke up everyone who was sleeping and pulled over. sheriff k--i forgot his real name, so i named him sheriff k--was actually quite nice. he informed us that in the state of texas it is illegal to drive in the left lane, which is for passing only on two lane highways. maybe he let us go because of our out of state license plate. we're from california, we didn't know any better. the whole ordeal passed quickly and we were back on the road.

the hours came and went and it had seemed like we have been driving for days. it was 5pm and i haven't slept yet, so i lied down in the backseat. worst sleep ever. i woke up at around 8 to see that the sun was gone and that it was dark out.


we filled up at a gas station called waldo's at around 10:30pm. we wanted to use their bathroom, but the shop was closed. we saw a man who we assumed was waldo playing cards with a younger man, who we assumed to be his son. oh, and they were playing cards in the dark with the lights off. we kept knocking, but he simply turned to us and shook his head. if you are ever in the fredericksburg/johnson city area of texas looking for a restroom, do not expect waldo to be helpful in that department.


and right next to waldo's seems to be some sort of laundromat or dry cleaners. where people are killed, apparently.


fast forward a couple hundred miles, a few hours of driving and scary stories and stupid games and a killer wasp and a speeding ticket for going 90 on a 65 mph road (given to us by sheriff k #2), and eric at the days inn right next to the university...


...helllo, austin.

after throwing my shit into the motel room i light a cigarette and look beyond the small parking lot at the cars driving down the 35 past 32nd street.
i take long drags and exhale slowly, processing the events of the day and not fully realizing how far i am from home.

we grab a 2am dinner at stars cafe. i had a turkey club on texas toast, which seems to be regular toast but a bit thicker. maybe everything is actually bigger in texas. as we eat "head on"--perhaps the greatest jesus and mary chain song--plays in the background. it described exactly how i felt and could not have come on at a more appropriate time.




"and the way i feel tonight,

i could die and i wouldn't mind...."