if there's one thing i hate more

than chronic complainers, it's chronic workplace complainers who spend every breath bitching to you (and only you, it seems) about stupidly insignificant aspects of the job and make sure that there's no room in your head for any doubt that they'd rather be elsewhere. at every job i've ever had there's always that one person who takes every opportunity to mention how much more they were paid or how much longer their lunch break was or how much more effective the management was at their old place of employment. WELL IF THIS PLACE IS SO GODAWFUL,...oh nevermind.

exhibit a: "oh my god, it took me almost an hour to get here. why should i spend an hour of every morning in bumper to bumper traffic on the 101 to get here? it's just not fair. and by the time we clock out it takes even longer to get home. no one should ever have to experience that. so what i did was put in my two weeks notice and found a job in sherman oaks. nice knowin ya."

first of all, poor you.

you know why there's so much fucking traffic in the morning? because most people in this city don't work near enough to their homes to walk, bike, or take side streets. urban sprawl at its finest. just as missing persons' dale bozzio so matter of factly puts it, "nobody walks in LA." one hour drives in the morning are not uncommon. like the thousands of others who trek across town daily to make a buck, via any combination of the 405, 110, 5, sepulveda, mullholand, sunset, or whatever, you simply must deal with it.

secondly, why did you just relocate from hollywood to encino, only to complain about the morning drive back to hollywood? i understand the appeal of the oh so tidy suburbs--and that as a child vacationing in europe you've grown accustomed to "the crystal clear waters of the black sea," and that the (brownish) blue pacific will never do--but now you're many traffic-induced headaches away from not only work, but most every other part of town that's worth a damn. i know traffic sucks, but sister, moving to the valley only makes this fact more real and painful.

ugh. wait a minute.


i claim to have a low tolerance for complainers, but look at me whine poetic, and relentless, about whiners. as much as i'm making you out to be a chatterbox with a neverending supply of beef, you're really not. you're more the crazy person against whom i measure how well-adjusted and composed i supposedly am. i'm sure you're a pretty cool person when you're not bellyaching about traffic or how the boss can be a sadistic, micromanaging automaton. believe it or not, you will be missed. i too have my share of gripes, but i've found that sometimes it's best to keep them to yourself. or blog about them, for fucksake.