i was walking back

from my lunch break when i saw jake, a 5th grader (one of my talent-show helpers), scrubbing the water fountain on the kindergarten yard with a toothbrush, bucket filled with soapy water at his side. he greeted me in the same way he has since the day i met him--'what up, tony danza?'--then proceeded to explain that he was doing time for getting into yet another fight.

i shook my head told him that he's smarter than that, that he should know better; but the meaning is lost when you tell that to someone who's constantly suspended. i wanted to say something else, something meaningful that would come off as effortless and hint that there was plenty more wisdom where that came from, contrived as it may be. just how will gives advice to marcus about cool in nick hornby's about a boy. the stuff after school specials are made of. but all that came out was, "why do you reek of cigarettes, man?" i've been meaning to ask him that for a while, because well, he usually does.

jake explained that he's home alone everyday after school until his mom gets home from her clerk job at rite aid. so he pretty much does his homework, watches tv, and smokes her cigarettes until she arrives around midnight. she's usually too tired to yell at him, he says, so she goes straight to bed. then he lights up once more and catches the leno monologue before going to bed and getting up to do it all over again. like every other adult he told this to, i reminded him that he was a great kid and that there are people who truly do give a damn about him. he said 'thanks' like someone who's heard the same thing a million times yet chooses to be a good sport about it.

i'd be lying if i said that as he told me this i wasn't thinking about how i would recreate this in a film (low-light, no dialogue and set to this song); it really is a fantastic image, to me at least. so simple yet so heavy.